Three Reasons I Need to Take More Mental Health Days

"Hah, sicker than your average.” -The Notorious B.I.G.

This past week, I experienced a brief, yet recognizable, twinge of sadness. I ignored it. The following day, I felt the unmistakable heart flutters I feel when anxious. I ignored them as well. On day three, after insomnia and nightmares robbed me of my sleep, I thought to myself, “Blu, you need to take some time to figure out what’s going on with you.” I then thought, “But you gotta do monthly reports and check your email and return phone calls. And that meeting that’s an hour’s drive away–can’t miss it.” So I didn’t. And ended up with a headache later that afternoon.

According to my last pay stub, I have 168 hours of unused paid sick leave. Twenty-one days. An entire work month. That is both a privilege and a crying shame. I know I am beyond fortunate to have employment with benefits. But what benefit is it to me if I don’t use them? I hesitate to call in sick because my sickness is not contagious like the flu or visible like a broken arm. You don’t get told to stay away from the office and rest when you have depression. And you certainly don’t get autographs on a cast for anxiety. However, I must prioritize my mental health for the following reasons.

Mental health is health and mental illness is illness.
It almost seems ridiculous to write that but I don’t think that it’s stated enough. It’s unreasonable to separate one’s ability to process emotions and cognitions safely from one’s health and well-being. Mental health is not something “other than” physical health. It’s all just health.

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I take medication daily for these diagnoses. I avoid certain foods and exercise frequently to manage my symptoms. I have monthly appointments with a professional to monitor the effectiveness of my treatment. I have found stress management strategies to be helpful. This treatment protocol is not unlike one followed by those who experience other chronic conditions such as high blood pressure. Why would one condition be more worthy of sick leave?

I’m not that important and I am.
As indispensable as I’d like to think I am to those on my caseload, I’m not. They tend to survive not talking to me for days; weeks if I’d let them. I am blessed to be a part of a team of competent coworkers and accessible supervisors. In addition, the families I serve have access to multiple social workers, community support organizations, and counselors. I am a replaceable cog in a mighty big wheel. If I take a day off to schedule an appointment with my therapist, the wheel will keep turning. I will not cause my agency to shut down nor will I cause anyone to die.

I am, however, far less easy to replace in my family. At least I’d like to think so. Unchecked depression and anxiety can lead to rather bad parenting and home management. Meals don’t get cooked. Dishes don’t get washed (Well, I’m not cooking so…). Bills don’t get paid. Tempers flare. I owe it to myself and my children to take that non-lethal time off.

Whatever the brain can’t process will be felt in the body.
I tried to Google that statement. I feel like I had heard or read it somewhere before. But I couldn’t find a citation so, maybe, I made it up. Maybe, I’m a genius. If I didn’t and I’m only copying a genius, please let me know. But I digress.

When I failed to take the time to examine the subtle symptoms of depression and anxiety, I experienced far worse physical pain. Taking a day off would have enabled me to focus inward, practice mindfulness strategies, and, perhaps, catch up on sleep. I believe I could have avoided the headache and the accompanying neck pain and nausea. I believe I would have been able to process the underlying emotions. I know it would have, at least, been worth it to try.

Categories: : Wellness